I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
But break dance skills will only take you so far
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
