tell your sister to shave her snatch
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize