Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Randomize
