i jhust puked up my retainher.
how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
I met the friendliest cop last night
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
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