a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
Randomize
