i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
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