I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize
