it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize