you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Randomize
