she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
When I'm drunk i like to pretend my penis is zeus and instead of peeing i'm throwing lightning bolts into the toilet...it helps me focus.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
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