I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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