Are we in a gay sports bar?
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
Boobs speak an international language.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
