Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Randomize