I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Randomize
