My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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