you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
Randomize
