I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
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