Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize
