there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
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