Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Randomize