some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
