haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
Randomize
