The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
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