There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
