i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Randomize
