I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize