It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Randomize
