She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
He felt like a one man threesome
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
