Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
