Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
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