not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
I got her a Nickelback box set.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
