make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
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