Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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