Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
