we made out on top of his cat.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
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