White coat. Heels.
Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
Randomize
