You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
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