on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
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