its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
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