Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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