I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Randomize
