How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
Randomize
