I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
