Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
It's Friday. Sex?
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
Randomize