it hurts more in the daytime
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
Couch. On fire.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
Randomize
