i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
I can't watch pbs sober anymore
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
where are my eyebrows?
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
