The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
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