it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
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