How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
Randomize
