It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Randomize
