sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
