i think my mom watched the whole time
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
Its about making memories worth repressing
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
