She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
