so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
