the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
Randomize
