mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
Sponge bath it is.
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Randomize
