Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
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