Don't you send me to vm
i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
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