garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
