nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
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