Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize
