In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
